Children, Children

For years, the right-wing succeeded in politics by infantilizing the public and using distractions to take our eyes off what was really happening in our nation: erosion of the constitution, discrediting of science, rape of the environment, prosecution of unnecessary and costly war, promotion - even celebration - of incompetence, legitimization of unbridled greed, and the largest redistribution of wealth upward in nearly a century. They, and by they I mean people like Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh, treated us like ungrateful children and told us we were unpatriotic if we did not listen to Daddy and do what he said.

Now it is time for the real President Obama, the adult we elected, to stand up and address the childish people around us - members of Congress, financial executives, talk show hosts, and others, who are acting like spoiled brats.

Imagine the speech, in front of both houses of Congress and the American people.

"Children, children." Put down your toys, your Nintendos and X-Boxes, and Wiis, your gas guzzling race cars, your soldier sets, your sticks and stones and slings and arrows, and yes, your twittering blackberries and text-messaging phones, and LISTEN! We are in a goddamn crisis, and we need to start acting like adults. That means you don't put more food on your plate (read debt), than you can eat. That means you use good table manners (read, say please when you ask the government for money and thank you when you receive it). That means you wait until everyone's been served until you take seconds (read bonuses). And it means you keep quiet and stop bickering while I say grace. Or I'm going to send you all to your rooms with no dessert. Understand that I'll be there for you if you fall (read AIG), but I'm not going to teach you that you'll be saved every time (read Lehman Brothers).  You're going to learn to stand on your own two feet. Do your homework (read, learn about the issues we face instead of spouting off about them). Pass the potatoes (read that's about all we have to eat right now). And help your mother and me clear the table (read we're all going to have to work together to clean up this awful mess).